I am a frequent traveller on the MRT.

As such I come into contact with many, many irritating people on a daily basis.

I have listed them as follows.

1) The blocker

They stand at the worst places and refuse to give way! Usually, these dimwits are located (in)conveniently at the doors when you want to get in. You want them to shift inwards to make space for you, but they stand resolutely there and conveniently stare into space. After which you get fed up, hold your bags close to you, and end up squeezing past them into the interior.

2) The Pole Hugger

Mostly male, they plaster their greasy bodies to the handpole, thereby depriving everyone of a place to hold on to when the train starts. As such, you are forced to grab the highest point of the pole to avoid his body, or have to hold the part nearest to his butt by your fingertips... Gross.

3) The Floor Mats

These creatures do not know how to use seats! Instead they insist on sitting cross-legged on the floor, running the risk of people tripping over them when they move through the train. Usually young and rowdy, they tend to make lots of noise while showing everyone how cool they are to be sitting on the floor.

Best way to deal with them? Treat them as part of the floor when you leave the train.

4) The Untouchables

Accidentally brushing the arm or the bag of such a person results in an angry glare. These people insist on giving you the dirty look, or act as if you have flesh-eating bacteria, whenever your bag or person accidentally comes into contact with them. A common occurrence among middle-aged women.

"Auntie, sorry lar... I'm not trying to molest you... err... you not say chio bu or what..."

5) The Couple

3 words.

Buay ta han!

I don't mind you holding hands, making goo goo eyes at each other, hugging or engaging in baby talk.

But please! No necking, intimate hugging, touching and kissing. I know you guys are madly in love, horny, or both, but there's a time and place for everything. It's irritating. There's always Hotel 81. Might as well go over there and be done with it!

And it's usually the guys that are doing it while the female goes along... Bloody perverts!

Haiz.

But the worst part is when a couple boards the train. I always make it a point when I go out when the bf to give way, but many others just don't get the message. Just because they are a pair, they refuse to budge when people are coming in. Instead, you have to give way for them. I mean, if mothers with children can move in, I don't see what's your problem.

Instead they are too busy looking into each others' eyes, trying to see their future children or whatever it is the hell they are doing... Completely oblivious to the people squeezing past them.

''Heeheehee... 别这样吗... 人家在看... "

"为什么不可以?"

*random pornographic touching*

"Eeeee... 讨厌!"

对啊！你们两个非常讨厌！

Graaarrrgggghhhh!!!