Today, I attended my 22/03 class gathering. Everyone arrived more or less on time and many of us were in a jovial mood.

We started for "Pizza Hut", only to find it packed. With the promise that tables would be reserved for around 20 of us, we walked about for half an hour. We went outside and took some pictures, then returned only to find that tables had failed to be reserved. Faced with such poor service, we walked around some more, then settled on this cheerful-looking restaurant with yellow walls (god, and I mean really yellow!).

The food was reasonably priced, and I settled on seafood and asparagus baked rice covered with cheese sauce. After an entre of mushroom soup, my food finally came. It resembled something like lasagna, but with rice instead of a potato base. It tasted pretty good, and I was glad I didn't order the wrong type of food. That disgusting green coriander spaghetti I had at "Fish and Co" instantly springs to my mind now that I think about it. Ugh, I'll never eat that again even if I were starving.

After that, the evening progressed smoothly and after dinner we headed for "MacDonald's" for some ice-cream. Paid with our change from the dinner. We also recieved 2 discount vouchers from the restaurant earlier. Hmm, now who ran off with them I wonder?

I must say that despite the outing I'm in a rather reflective mood right now.

Well, to think it all started when a person asked me why I wanted to study Sociology.
Haha. I'm not blaming the person for asking. On the contrary, I would like to thank the person. After all, that question has set me thinking. Why?

Well, the main reason is my results.

GP:A2
Bio:A
Chem:B
Maths:D

Yes, the very last subject has cost me dearly. I have no idea how it got this way. And after all the remedial sessions, staying back after school, and extra work. I still cannot fathom how I could have done so poorly for this particular subject. Perhaps it was due to the stomach-ache and nausea which prevented me from concentrating properly on Paper 2, I'll never know. I've had a long-standing animosity towards Maths I guess.

Of course, many would say, why agonize? It's only a minor setback. Most people have done poorly one time or another. Look at class tests, streaming, PSLE, O Levels. It's not the end of the world. I managed to weather most of all that, but the problem is this.

A Levels is the final hurdle to cross. It's how, one would call, a make-it or break-it gauge of your abilities. You can do badly all those times before, but if you're in a JC and you bomb your As, everything falls apart. If you can't meet admission requirements to the course of your choice, there are few alternative pathways. It's either you choose another you may not like or you not enter at all. Some people may choose to go to Poly, which I feel is a sensible choice and not bad at all. Others, if they've done badly enough, may re-take their A Levels. However for those who have done neither good enough to enter a U or bad enough to warrant a re-taking of the examination, you're basically left dangling in mid-air. Unable to go forward of back.

So the thing is I fall into the category of not meeting course requirements. Biological Sciences is completely out of my league and I know it. Come on, a freaking D for Maths. No admissions officer in his or her right mind would consider a Science student who has a D for Maths. It's there, black and white, on the websites and the guide book. This is NUS we're talking about, ranked No.18 in the world. Dun play play.

Which for me is a major let-down. If your dream had been to be a field biologist since you were in Primary School, you would have known what I felt then. I wanted to study Biological Sciences (conc. Biology), which is offered solely at NUS. I only found out about this at the last minute, when I had resigned myself already to study only the Life Sciences aspect of Biology. It was like a glimmer of hope. No longer only cells, we're talking plant and animals here.

Too bad. Sigh.

The first blow.

The second blow was related to Mass Communications in NTU. I've considered being a journalist, a sort of alternative to the biologist dream. I like to write, and I'm all right in English, so I thought this course would be suitable. It's also not a desk job, and I like to move around. I thought that with my GP grade I would have an edge. Huh, how wrong I was.

Cos just a few days ago, I read a newspaper article on how the 3 universities are considering aspects of a student apart from results. A Han Weide was mentioned. He got into Mass Comm, but he had an ABC.

I have ABD.

They didn't mention GP, or had no need to perhaps cos it didn't matter. I knew I was doomed even as I read on about how Mass Comm was an over-subscribed and over-popular course. I'm not being overly-dramatic when I say that something inside me just cracked.

And hence, being denied 2 favoured courses, I searched for something else. This time, I decided to try Sociology in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences in NUS or Sociology in NTU, which I felt would not mind a glaring D in Maths so much.

Then I did some more researching and found out that Sociology is quite challenging to enter as well. However, it deals many with society and anthropology, and is fascinating in its own right. So, I don't mind chossing this course, though there is a chance I may not be able to enter. I fear it's my only hope now.

That and SMU. I have never excelled in Econs, and have always regarded anything related to finance and management before with boredom. Should you have asked me in the past whether I would consider SMU, I would say no.

And yet now I'm signing up for it. Yes, me, in Business Management or Social Science hopefully. I hope I get in. It'll at least provide an alternative to FASS, NUS or Sociology NTU. Besides, SMU seems to be a pretty good University, and maybe doing something considered heavy for me might prove beneficial. Who knows?

So it's mainly NUS Sociology FASS, SMU Business Mangement or Social Science, or NTU Sociology. I'm hoping for the 2 formers though, cos NTU is too far away in terms of distance for me, and not as vibrant. I know I've screwed things up this time, and it was foolish to do so. However, I cannot undo what is done, and crying over it won't help. All I can pray for is a second chance, and nothing short of a miracle.

And that's why I chose Sociology.